Old Republic
From Ewokpedia
The Old Republic was the government before the New Republic but after the New Old Republic which itself was after the Old Old Republic. The Old Republic was preceded by the Really Old Republic and the Really, Really Old Republic, and the Just Fucking Plain Old Republic. It lasted for billions of years but ended when Darth "Johnny" Vader had buttsex with Palpatine and in their power of mutual boners they made the Empire.
[edit] History
The Old Republic was founded 329,235,403,793,323,105,352,024,450,405,463,034,001 BBY. It was founded by Mandalorian Ninjas who were tired of suffering under the oppression of the Great Butt Empire. George Lucas based his history of the founding of the Old Republic off a filthy manuscript he found in the toilet of a Mexican restaurant in Utah. He used part of the script to become Star Wars and the other experiences led him to create Willow, because Val Kilmer was in the stall next to him. The Republic endured many hardships during this time such as the Battle of Butt Moon, Mission to Mangina, and Skirmish of the Lote'rge'gern'egriloks. The early Old Republicans were George W. Bush, Sarah Palin, and Palpatine's great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandfather, Otis Jebediah "Palpsy" Palpatine XIV.
[edit] Constitution of the Old Republic
The founders of the Old Republic wanted to live in a land where they could feel free to grow sideburns as long as the wished. They succeeded, as this was outlined in the 69th Amendment of the Constitution: It shall hereby be noted that all men shall speak with British accents and wear sideburns that extend to the chin. Muttonchops are even better. It is for this reason that Tagge once opposed the formation of the Empire, but Palpatine assured him that Imperials would be allowed to grow them.
[edit] The Clone Wars
The Clone Wars ripped apart the Old Republic like goatse. Boba Fett and his clone-pappy Jango Fett fought for the CIS, who lost the war.
