Neither of Us Is an Elephant
From Ewokpedia
Neither of Us Is an Elephant, a duet with singing droid Jo-E Fat-1, is the last track on Max Rebo's solo jizz album, Trunk of Sky. The track is known throughout the galaxy as the single worst jizz duet in recorded history. Several factors lead to the disastrous track.
- Budget
Max had spent most of his money on an original Claxxon Bigsmaller Red balls organ, which had to be shipped special from Corouscant. As Max recorded all his songs in the order they would appear on the album, he was basically broke when it came time to record this track. This meant he could only afford to do one take, which lead to the extremely raw sound of the song.
- Yes-Men
At the time, Max was surrounded by idiots, flunkeys and yes-men, and thus there was no one in his inner circle who would tell him if he had a bad idea. His hangers-on were so obsessed and in love with his previous works that they could not fathom that he could create anything but pure-strain gold. This problem has plagued many great men throughout history.
Jo-E and Max had been friends back in Tattooine at Jabba's Palace, but in the years between the end of Rebo's contract with the Hutts, and the recording of Trunk of Sky, Max had spoken ill of most of the people he had ever met, including Jo-E, who had become extremely bitter, and was battling a Spice addiction. This song was supposed to kick off Jo-E's comeback, and of course this did not end up being the case.
[edit] Trivia
The fight at the end of the song was real, and Jo-E and Rebo actually came to blows after the tape eventually stopped rolling. Budgetary restraints kept Rebo from recording another take, but he certainly could have edited the fight out. However, his producer Jedd Porkins would not let him, as he found the song "Feckin hilarious" as it was.
[edit] Lyrics
(lyrics in italics were preformed by Jo-E Fat-1)
An elephant is big, an elephant is grey
And droids and Ole Max Rebos just have never rolled that way
I'm tired, man, I'm tired of your words and of your stares.
Unless you want to compliment my robo-underwear!
I'm not an ele-phoo
I'm not an ele-phee'
I'm not an ele-NEEEither of us are elephants!
My heart it barely beats, I just lay in bed all day
Yeah, racism is a drag, so just get over it. Ok?
My tears they do not stop, my pain it does not end
My gears and sockets bleed for you, my blue jizz-playin friend!
OOH I aint no Ele-croo
I aint no Ele-cree
I aint no Ele-NEEEither of us are elepahts!
If an elephant walked by, I would punch him in the eye
No, that doesn't solve the problem, it just causes him to cry!
God, you're such a gloomy gus, I just hate to see you so
I can't help it Joe, and now you know, racism has got to go!
No I aint no Ele-floo
Damn I aint no Ele-flee
Hey I aint no Ele-NEEither of us are Elephants!
So stop yelling as I pass
well stop trampling my grass!
(spoken)
Dammit Joe I'm serious
uh oh, Dumbo's gettin mad!
Jesus christ Joe, cant you do this one thing with me?
No one has ever called me an elephant! How am I supposed to feel what you want me to feel, man? No one but you ever gets called an elephant. That's not racism, you look like a freakin elephant, man!
(Singing again) I AM NOT AN ELE-GOO
Guess I'm not an ele-gee
I am not an Ele-NEEEither of us are Elephants
(after a minute)
Alright Joe, that was my favor to you, that's it, now get the hell out of my studio
Some favor. Hey, you do know I'm not a garbage-droid, right?
God I cant wait to ship you back to Jabba. Enjoy the next fifty years in the storage closet, you hack!
Fuck you, Max. I hope you choke on a peanut and die
CUT, Jedd can we cut please?
