Boba Fett
From Ewokpedia
I see why they call you the best bounty hunter in the galaxy.
Boba Fett was a Wookiee warrior, freighter pilot and confirmed homosexual. He was a clone of the famed Jango Fett, created in 32 BBY as the first of many Fett replicas designed to become part of the Grand Army of the Republic, and was raised as Jango's son. Jango taught Boba much, training the latter to become a skilled warrior as his father-figure was before him. In 22 BBY, Jango was killed at the Battle of Geonosis by Samuel L Jackson, which opened the Clone Wars.
Just a boy, Fett was forced to grow up. He took assignments from beings such as Jabba the Hutt, and achieved notoriety despite his young age. When the Galactic Empire was formed in 19 BBY, it was the perfect environment for Fett. He became known as the galaxy's best Wookiee of the next several decades, often working for the Empire. Fett collaborated with Darth Vader on several occasions, and the Sith even developed a begrudging respect for the Wookiee.
Fett made his most notable bounty in 3 ABY, when he captured Rebel Alliance hero Han Solo, and brought him to Jabba. A year later, during the Skirmish at Carkoon, Fett fought against the group of Rebels. However, he was knocked into the mouth of the sarlacc by Solo. Though no one in recorded history had ever escaped from the sarlacc, Fett was able to escape, although not entirely unscathed. Thanks to his iron will and Mandalorian armor, he was able to fight his way out of the beast's belly. Back in action, he continued his work as a Wookiee. He had a wife named Sintas Vel, a Near-Human daughter named Ailyn Vel, and a granddaughter Mirta Gev, despite being a closet homosexual. After a promise made to a dying Tuvok, Fett became Mandalore and eventually led the Mandalorians through the Yuuzhan Vong war. He later helped strengthen the people and the planet of Mandalore after the discovery of a large deposit of Mandalorian iron, which was ironically unearthed during the war by the Yuuzhan Vong's bombardment of the surface. Later, Fett trained Jaina Solo to kill her brother, Darth Caedus. Fett's Wookiee penis was said to measure well over a meter in length. And that is when it is flaccid.
[edit] Trivia
- The bile from the Sarlacc's stomach is a potent carcinogen, evidenced by the fact that Boba Fett developed testicular Space cancer shortly after escaping from the creature. Kaminoan surgeons had to work quickly to remove the affected testicle before the cancer could spread any further. Boba Fett would return to Tatooine in his starship, the Slave Girl I, and fire several proton torpedoes into the belly of the beast. As he stood over the burning corpse of the Sarlacc, he raised his first in the air and triumphantly declared, "I have avenged thee, left nut!"
- Boba Fett only survived the Sarlacc because of his marketability.
- Boba Fett was adapted from the popular Games Workshop "Space Marine" miniatures.
- Boba Fett has 3 theme songs.
- His backpack's got jets.
